Dave Gilbert | 
01 24th, 2006| 
Sure, the kids could handle Spock and Rimmer. But what about THIS:
Holy Smurf! Here are the results:
He is from the Mars. He is crazy in the Mars. He is the captain of a spaceship. He is angry, because his ship is gone. He wants to kill the person who got his ship. He’ll cook him and going to give to a tiger. Tiger will die when it eats food.
He is the head of the Poo Eating Club! He eats salsa. He’s got a mushroom stuck on his head. He was born like that. It doesn’t hurt at all. He is a pirate, and can fight better than Jackie Chan. His job is my bodyguard. He says “One manner two manner three manner gay manner hong kong!” Then all my enemies go away.
His name is Mong Cheon Gi, and he is stupid. He is a boy, and has no hair. He is no fun. His job is policeman, and he always eats flies. He is always sweating.
His name is Michael Jackson. He is very good and nice dancer, and he eats people. He goes to the people eating contest, but he only wins 2nd place. 1st place person eats 999,999 people. Jackson eats 999,998 people. The contest stage is very bloody. It’s nice!
He escaped from Alcatraz. When he running to his way, he hurt his head because of a stone and he became a famous prisoner and he cut his hands and legs himself and he died.
He is body and cute. His name is Smumpy. He is always good, but sometimes bad. When is he good, he share food with people. His job is… I don’t know. I like him because he is cute very much.
He washes his clothes once every 1000 years. He has four tigers. His name is Patrick. He hit his head by rock, but blood don’t come out of his head because he don’t have blood! He eats hair. His aunt is Michael Jackson. His job is hijacker.
